While I’m away, readers give the advice. On working with someone who is terse, verging on rude, and intimidating: I may be that abrupt person. While I continue to work at this, there are folks who would argue I’m intimidating and can be very short on the phone. Those folks tend to fall into certain groups. When they call, they state things like, “I think maybe I need … “; “Let’s see here, I think those notes ...
More Seattlemagazine Health stories:Prevention Battles Disease And Care CostsWomen Speak Up About Sexual HealthLight TherapyVirtual Exams May Save a LifeBidding on Health Care Online For six consecutive Monday nights in late winter 2009, Seattle resident Annie Wilson immersed herself in learning how to manage her chronic diseasefor the first time since being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes almost a decade ago. Before attending the Living Well with Chronic Conditions workshop (sponsored by Group Health Cooperative in the Capitol Hill ...
Roger Turnbow, VP of design for the Mitchell Gold Co., offers advice on maintaining white upholstery: Accessorize with other textiles, apply “fabric protection” treatments, and in the event of stains, spot clean with cornstarch, salt, or commercial stain removers. A professional upholstery cleaner can always assess the situation. Reprinted with Permission of Hearst Communications, Inc. Originally Published: Quick Tip: Quite White!
While I’m away, readers give the advice. On grandparents who refuse to childproof their homes: For the people who believe you should teach 2- and 3-year-olds not to touch things that do not belong to them, the proper response is: “I cannot get what is supposed to be a responsible adult to clean up obvious hazards in his house to protect his own grandchildren. What in the world makes you think I can teach a 3-year-old to ...
Adapted from a recent on-line discussion. Hi Carolyn: I went to a party last night and arrived separately from my boyfriend. He showed up with his 8-month-old puppy, Fanny, who can be very hyper. I asked my boyfriend if he had asked the hostess whether he could bring Fanny, and he stated he hadn’t. The hostess has two pet rabbits who, though caged, probably did not appreciate having a dog around. Moreover, this is not the ...
Dear Carolyn: My daughter is 24, one semester away from her degree, and pregnant. She went into deep denial for nearly seven months. Finally, at 27 weeks, she came to me with her suspicion. There were no more options but to have this baby. From the beginning, she has stated emphatically that she does not want to keep the baby. I am very sad and wish she would not do this, but I have committed myself to supporting ...
Adapted from a recent on-line discussion. Dear Carolyn: Wife had an important meeting. That morning, she realized she had no business suit that fit her. (She recently went back to work after second baby.) She proceeded to spend $500 on two suits right before the meeting. Husband flipped out. Demanded that Wife plan her clothing buys in the future. Said Wife could not possibly like the suits she bought. Wife is upset that Husband flipped out ...
Dear Carolyn: We recently went on a family vacation. My two grown kids and a daughter-in-law joined my husband and me. During our vacation, my daughter made a rude re-mark to my daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law reacted; my daughter’s response became more heated with a curse word. As my daughter was apologizing later in the day, Son demanded that Daughter be more specific with her apology. That sent Daughter into a screaming, cursing frenzy, sent Brother into anger defending Wife, ...
Adapted from a recent on-line discussion. Dear Carolyn: A lot of the things I stated I’d “never” do, I’ve done. One was to marry someone whose family did not like me. After having two long-term relationships where we all got along great, and one where his mom was evil to me, I swore I would not go through that again. Now I’m years into it and realizing how much this is wearing on me. I think ...
Adapted from a recent on-line discussion. Dear Carolyn: I recently had a fight with my girlfriend. We were on our way to a works do (mine). She asked me to detour past her friend’s house so she could drop off some stuff from work. I stated OK, but do not take long. Twenty minutes and two un-picked-up calls later, and she still was not out. So I left. She states that was controlling and rude. I ...
Adapted from a recent on-line discussion. Dear Carolyn: I am struggling with being grumpy, snappish and downright angry a lot lately, and there is really nothing more going on than the each day overload of part-time work, parenting a preschooler, marriage, keeping a house running, keeping up with friends and family, etc. I feel like I cannot breathe sometimes because there is always so much to do and I rarely have time to myself. When I do ...
Dear Carolyn: I have a friend who lost a parent during her high school years. I wonder if I am being insensitive about the issue because I never knew the parent. I was not in the picture then. Each year she wants to be surrounded by her friends on the anniversary of her mom’s death, which is understandable. What gets me is that she sits there and waits for all her closest friends to acknowledge it in some ...
Adapted from a recent on-line discussion. Dear Carolyn: My parents (who admittedly are rather formal) have treated for vacations for years. This year, my husband and I rented a modest beach house for a week. We invited my parents to come with us for all or part of the week, thinking it would be a fun time for them to spend with their grandchildren (and children!). The result has been an exercise in family weirdness. They ...
Dear Carolyn: I am an old-school father with Christian morals. I have three teenage daughters, 14, 18 and 19. Only the eldest is dating at this time. I tell them every day that I love them. I have told my daughters for a few years now that if they get into a relationship, move in with a guy and decide later to get married, I will not pay for the wedding or reception. I would go to the ...
Adapted from a recent on-line discussion. Continued from Monday: “Undisclosed location,” infidelity, weight gain, and feeling attractive vs. attracted. Dear Carolyn: I do give my wife compliments. She is quite beautiful. I actually get few in return, hence my not-feeling-appreciated comment (Monday). It ain’t like I do not TRY. I just got sick of trying there for a minute. Lost my bearings. – Undisclosed location That’s your cue to try something ...
Adapted from a recent on-line discussion. Dear Carolyn: Ugh. Cheated on my wife for the first time last week. But after reading other people’s questions, I feel like a low priority. – Undisclosed location No, you are not off the hook that easily. Why’d you do it? To undisclosed location: “First time” makes it sound like you already know there is going to be a second, third, fourth, fifth, ...
Dear Carolyn: I ended my two closest friendships, one of which had lasted over 25 years. One friend just never seemed to have time for our friendship anymore, while the other had taken advantage of our friendship one time too many. By ending these friendships I regained my self-esteem. But was it worth it? I now have no close friends to speak to, and the phone doesn’t ring. Worse, I find myself pushing away new friends because I ...